Chapter 4
Waiting
There's no-one in this street. Only me. No-one can see me. I'm waiting.
Yesterday, at the hospital they said, 'You are well now, John. We need the bed for someone who is ill.' They gave me the name of a house. 'Go to this house,' they said. But I wanted to come here. This is the street where the nurse lives. Nurse Angela.
I followed her yesterday. I followed her home. She lives with another nurse. The nurse is at the hospital in the evening. I watched the house yesterday. No-one saw me. I was behind a wall. I watched Nurse Angela, but she didn't see me.
I'm waiting for Nurse Angela now. Nurse Angela is going to die today. I wanted a friend, but she didn't want to be my friend. The woman in Birmingham didn't want to be my friend. Nurse Angela smiled at me, but I saw how she looked at the doctor. She liked the doctor very much. She didn't like me... She watched me. She talked about me to the doctor.
I know what I do is wrong. I do bad things. I don't like what I do... I'm a bad boy... I go to new places... This is a new place and I have a new name here... People don't like me. They talk about me... People never like me. People always talk about me.
Doctor Cox knew nothing. Yesterday, he went on holiday. I heard him. He said, 'Bye everybody! I'm going to York for a week on holiday.' And they all said, 'Have a good holiday, Doctor. Have a nice time.' I didn't say anything. But I was thinking. Doctor Cox said goodbye to me.
'Goodbye, John,' said Doctor Cox. Doctor Cox likes Nurse Angela. He's going to be sorry. He thinks he's very intelligent but he doesn't know anything. I'm very intelligent.
Nurse Angela smiled at me, but she didn't like me. Doctor Cox didn't like me. He talked about me... I know these things.
The first time wasn't easy. I said to myself: John, you're a bad boy. Don't do it. But I did it anyway... The next time was easy. Women die very quickly.
Here comes Nurse Angela. She's going to find me here in her road.
'Hello,' I say.
* * *
Nurse Angela saw John Doe in the road. She knew something was wrong. His new house was not near her street. Why was he here?
'What are you doing here, John?' asked Angela. She wanted to get inside her house quickly. She wanted a hot bath and a hot drink. She did not want to talk in the road with the man called John Doe.
'Hello,' said John Doe. 'I know you. You're Nurse Angela.' He smiled. 'Where am I?' he asked. 'Is my new house near here?'
'Oh no,' thought Angela. 'He can't remember. I thought he was well now. At the hospital everyone thought he was well.'
'I'm cold,' said John.
Angela took his hand. It was very, very cold.
'You need a hot drink,' she said. 'You're very cold.'
'Yes, please,' said John.
'He must go back to the hospital,' thought Angela. 'But first he needs a cup of hot coffee and something to eat.'
'My house is here,' she said.
'Is it?' asked John.
'Come in,' said Angela. She opened the door. She wanted to help the man. He looked so cold and unhappy.
'You are very nice to me,' said John. He walked inside the house. The house was nice and warm. John smiled.
'I'm very hungry,' said John. He smiled again. He knew he had a nice smile.
'Would you like something to eat?' asked Nurse Angela.
'Thank you,' said John. 'Thank you very much, Nurse Angela.'